I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
