I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
