Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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