So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
