Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
