Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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