the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
