haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
