is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
