physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Success! We fucked roommates!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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