P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
