wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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