It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
