You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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