Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Btw I puked in your glovebox
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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