Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize