standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
