well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
