Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
