he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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