I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
