when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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