i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
