Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
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Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
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Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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