There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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