why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
