I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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