I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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