Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
