People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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