If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Randomize
