i just sent this text using only my big toe
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
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I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
50% drunk capacity currently
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize