Pants 0. Shit 1.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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