any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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