so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
