no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We need to rekindle our bromance
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
