my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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