She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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