when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If that was your dad, he is hot
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
