I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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