Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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