I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
