ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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