found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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