tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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