I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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