being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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