I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
