i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
