I just saw a hot homeless man
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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