remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
COCAINE IS GR8
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
