Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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