absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
