dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
