I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
