The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
