Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
