is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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